who knows what comes first, its up and then down, inside and then out, there are no linear lines here, just waves and streams of consciousness playing - and however hard we try to understand or control the experience, trying to make it fit into the structure of our mental comprehension - the mystery remains.........
pain and joy, i've never experienced either as intensely as now, and yet eventually all that remains is a taste, both empty and full, nothing more, nothing less......
it hurts to be penetrated to the core by someone who knows you and to accept what they say!
and yet, what a gift of grace, having people in your life who care enough to not play games with you........
all of life is only remembering what i have forgotten, the same few pointers given so generously, remembering them over and over again, rediscovering their truth, within, without, once, twice, how many times?!
its more like a spiral dance, circular and yet never the same point repeated, its always new, never the same remembering, never the same experience........or perhaps the remembering of the same truth, but in its many different facets, experienced differently every time??
our language has no capacity to hold a paradox, to contain apparent contradictions while revealing that there aren't any!
being unable to feel is not a sign of progress or evolution, it is a pathology......
a disconnection, not transcendence !
i can imagine a group of women under a dark sky, singing what they have done during the day and dancing their feelings into the ground......
i shall allow myself to enter their world and make it mine, hear their songs and dance with them, wild, uninhabited, raw, naked, vulnerable and yet so intense, powerful and filled with the force that living life in totality gives......where nothing is resisted, there is no turning away, only a "yes" that comes honestly, burning from deep down in the soul, where the heart is open to seasons that come and go......and life leaves its marks on the faces.....and hands, feet, eyes, hips move to the music of a maker, within and without....... and the drums beat on, telling their ancient stories......
and yet it all happens in this present moment, right here, right now........
i look in the mirror and melt with a stroke of compassion, for all the moments i turned away from myself, when my eyes expressed disgust, my mouth revulsion......
who stares back at me now?
my Original face.......
i am both yin and yang and i'm moving towards balance, an all inclusive point that is not this "or" that......
it is this "and" that.....
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3 comments:
Love that. It is yin and yang. Not yin or yang. Happy to see you doing well.
Lots of Love
Fatma
So full of life and love and feeling you are! Yes, life is a paradox, but it doesn't need to be explained, just held with tenderness. The more of your faces you can hold and entertain, without reconciling their differences away, the richer you become, the more yourself, more authentic, more perfect. It is an evolution, no need to transcend, just deepen into it, embrace all of it, and build upon that which serves you most.
I'm so glad you permit these faces to peek out - glorious!
Carrie
Thanks Fatma, Thanks Carrie for your lovely words.....
Michael Meade. a mythic scholar, says that instead of choosing one side or one stand, if you can stand the tension of holding two opposing positions, seeing them as both being valid and not choosing either, if you hold the tension.....and hold......and hold.......long enough.....then something not present in either position emerges.
This is the resolution of the seeming paradox present in opposition.
This is avoiding the horns of a dilemma.....
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