Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Scribbles from my journal - 14


this journey of transforming my blood, my body and self - is happening on different levels - letting go of all the muck inside is not only about yeast and fungus.....

it is about old dead emotions and pains, about out-dated and out-grown ways of thinking and feeling too.....
it is about learning to function from a new position and to move with a different energy.....

one skip, one hop at a time, little by little......
it is not just my will or aspiration that leads anywhere......
there is nothing i have to "make" happen, i simply have to "let" it happen and happening it is, always already :-)

i feel from within that i am going to heal, to be whole.....deeply, so deeply.......
there is a quantum shift in the making here, a quantum leap into some place new, some way new and it is very very exciting.....

only glimpses, little windows that open on to the big picture.......
there is a certitude that every step of this journey, of this path is an incredible blessing ......and that it is leading to something so marvelous and breath-giving.....

and there it is waiting for me.......
like layers being peeled off, something new is born and emerges every moment in this process.....

i don't know the what, why, where and when of this that is so beautifully unfolding, moment to moment, softly, gently, strongly.......

all i know is that.......it is the flowing, the moving, and the spiral dancing that matters......

right here, right now.......



Tuesday, 6 May 2008

Living in the Here and Now :-)



I'm in Bangalore right now and I'm falling in love with this city all over again :-) 
It is so green, the weather is fantastic, the people are warm and beautiful, there are coconut sellers at almost every corner and street and Juice shops in every block - what more can one ask for?

Its been one crazy ride the last few weeks. Nothing works out as imagined, planned, decided - each day brings a surprise, a huge "letting go" which is then followed by new insights, perspectives and awareness........

We have no home at the moment, we don't even know where we will settle down and when.....this is really a period of transition and waiting.......
Its not always easy as the mind is conditioned to a need for security and certainty - so to remain joyful and centered in the midst of insecurity and uncertainty, demands an almost incredible moment to moment practice of total trust and acceptance and a warrior like stance of calm flexibility........

Flowing with whatever life unfolds day to day without becoming attached to what I think I want, or what I feel is right, is very liberating - it has come to the point where when things don't work out as I want - I get even more excited - I rub my hands in glee and say "Ok, not this, then what next?" :-)
I am learning all the time to hold my own thoughts, feelings, wants, desires very lightly.....no holding on tightly, no clinging, no grasping.......
Simply letting go, breathing deeply and smiling, whatever happens or not........

Living life, in the Here and Now........is a very powerful practice.......
I am deeply grateful as I am not alone, Trevor and Saatchi are learning each day the same practice too, and we support each other and mirror Joy for one another.....
A real blessing........

I'm staying at a hotel in Bangalore right now, I don't have my Vitamix with me - I have one small cooked vegan meal a day and the rest of the time it is coconut water, coconut meat, fresh fruits and juices, as well as around 3 to 4 quarts of alkaline water with green powder.....
I haven't had green juices or salads for a week now but that will change soon hopefully......

I'm very surprised that I haven't put on any weight since the end of my juice feast on the 11th of February, in fact, I've lost another couple of pounds......

I've had two colonics in the last month in Pune and I have another scheduled for Friday this week.....
I will write more about this after my next session.........

Tomorrow it is back to Pune for a week - after that, I don't know...... 
I'll let you know when I know......

Till then - much love and warm sunshine.......

xxx


Bangalore - Flaming trees, Juice junctions and Coconut heaps......








 
























































































































































































Friday, 25 April 2008

Emotional Freedom and Vast Wide Spacious.........


These past few weeks have been a rollercoaster ride into a world full of ups and downs, high excitement and low blue moods, heart melting smiles, soft strong passion and moments of wild crazy fun too......

There is a genuine need for relationships that are free from demands, obligations, subtle manipulations, unconscious dependency or approval needs, impositions and melodrama, over-sensitivity and taking everything personally, making mountains out of molehills.....

I am in the process of changing the way I relate to people, letting go of old exhausting patterns and functioning in a new way, from a new inner position.......

This is not a piece of cake and I've been through some pretty rough moments lately, and yet......amidst all of this chaos and pain, what emerged like a precious gift, was a certainty that relating and connecting with others even with a small dose of old world ways - makes me literally sick now!!!!

Emotions can be as sticky as glue and so so heavy - I want to transform existing relationships and build new relationships, that are not based on Emotional Feeding, that are free from this glue, this heavy inert dead spread!!
I want connections that are clean, pure, honest - relationships that are light and free and alive and breathing, wide, vast, spacious, loving and compassionate......
Love that is not confused with sentiments or expectations - Compassion that truly respects and is first of all true to one's own self.........

Ah, a lifetime of learning and the new world unfolds every single day :-)

I got married to Trevor in a simple Hindu ceremony on the 21st of this month, I've had my first colonic experience in India, I'm working on some super raw Indian food, etc etc.......

There is so much to tell and share, many pictures to post and I'm going to do some over the weekend......

I've missed you all very much, loads of love and hot bright sunshine, 
xxx Neeta




Thursday, 27 March 2008

A note of thanks to my brother.......


My time of the month again, and pain pain pain, same old same old, some things are simply going to take longer to enter the new world......
And yet, right now, right here - a gift bestowed that makes me smile and the pain fades, a little and then a little more......

I'm listening to my brother's music, he recorded the first draft of his new album, its beautiful, real groovy and very graciously puts this pain away into the background where it loses its hold on me.....bringing forward a fountain of champagne like bubbles, lifting me high, high, higher......

I feel lighter, freer and so grateful once again......

I love the sound of the flute, it empties me out of what is not essential and fills me up with flow......

For every barrier, every obstacle, every ache and every pain, there is also something that can dissolve the knot, something that can soothe and ease, something that can heal and melt the block......
Two sides of the same coin, a question of finding out what works for each one of us in our own situations......
There is always a key somewhere that opens a closed door and lets the light in to brighten our lives and make us glow.......

Thanks bro, you seriously rock :-)


Monday, 24 March 2008

We are like that only..........



India, vibrant, dynamic, alive.......
The warm sunshine and the blue skies, the rain tempests and the desert storms, the noise and pollution of the cities, the incredible green of the rice paddies, the coconut trees and the concrete jungles, the easy smiles and the dramatic emotions, the songs and the dances, the tempting aromas of its cooked foods and the smelly odors of its overflowing garbage dumps......

A country of sharp contrasts and gentle contradictions, where the yes often means a no and the no even more often is a yes.........
No way to define it or limit it with words, a place where the map is never ever the territory, in fact, there rarely ever is a map to begin with in the first place........

In every big or not so big town and city of India, you can find McDonalds, Pizza Huts, Dominos Pizzas, KFCs, Ice Cream Parlours, Coffee and Cake shops.
There are huge air-conditioned shopping malls with all the latest international brands available in smart designer boutiques, and an entire floor that is a food court filled with every kind of fast and processed junk food you can think of, American, Chinese and Indian! 
Adults and children walking around, sitting, sprawled, eating and eating and eating some of this and some of that and then some more......

Diabetes is rampant, even children are beginning to suffer from it now, heart attacks attack younger and younger men everyday, cancer has become a word known to all......
Stomach ache, acidity and constipation is more common than common cold, joint pains and chronic fatigue are a constant part of day to day life......

It has always been said that "Ignorance is Bliss"........ but once you awaken from your follies than you feel not only your own pain more acutely, but the pain of another becomes even more real to you than your own........

So my heart broke a few times this time in India.........

But if there are many who line up to eat junk food, there are as many who are conscious that this way of eating is what is causing them some serious health problems too!

And when you share with them that the food they eat not only affects their physical health, but also their mental clarity and emotional states, it makes perfect sense to them - no need to argue and spend ages trying to convince them......
In fact, they are ready and happy to learn and to try out new foods, how wonderful is that? :-)

One thing I learnt very clearly these last few weeks is that sustainable change needs to happen one step at a time, that new and different ways of walking and dancing have to be integrated slowly......with care, with respect......and without rush........
One has to be very attentive and go with the flow and the level of readiness of the people, instead of imposing, pushing or giving more information than they want to receive, thus creating resistance in them!

A green juice in the morning, a smoothie as a pudding, more water and less sherbets, flax oils instead of refined oils, steaming instead of frying, dates or honey instead of white sugar, nuts and seeds instead of chips and biscuits, one cooked meal a day instead of two, more variety of healthy whole flours instead of white and refined.......

So many ways to begin a radical transformation, a quantum change made with small leaps and tiny jumps........

I bought a book at the airport in Mumbai on my way to Chennai/Pondicherry/Auroville.
It is called "We are like that only" and it is a study of the consumer trends and attitudes in India. 
I love the title of the book, it is apt and suitable in so many contexts related to Indian people......

"we indians are like that only, we are open and willing, we'll accept raw foods and green juices in our lives but how can you expect us to only drink juices without eating, one day or one week is enough but 92 days, what, you think we are rishis or yogis or something? and to give up our wholesome vegetarian food? even ayurvedic food is cooked, so don't forget, everything is not bad, you should not become rigid, so of course of course, we should not eat fried foods or sweets, if you say milk is bad now, then we will only use a teaspoon in our tea and also take stevia instead of sugar, and we will only eat homemade yogurt and eat no ghee, now the zucchini pasta you made was very good so maybe we can use that tasty pesto sauce on our toast instead of butter, i can't believe there is spinach in this smoothie, i can only taste the banana, how is this possible, you must teach me more of this raw foods definitely......but tonight i need my rice and dal and vegetable curry, what to do, we are like that only........"

This could be a  mixed masala of my Mom in Mumbai and my Aunt in Pune :-)
I am very proud of them because they have both begun to change their lives so quickly, I feel immense admiration and respect for the determination and discipline they show, their genuine interest in learning new ways of nourishing themselves and their families......
I feel very grateful.......

I am filled with excitement - I know that India is ready and waiting........and that I am going to have so much fun and fulfillment in helping people to hydrate hydrate hydrate and to drink pure liquid sunshine in the form of green juices, to eat healthier, eat less, eat prana rich foods......

To feel as vibrant, dynamic and alive, as the land they live and breathe upon......




Saturday, 22 March 2008

Peacocks, Papayas and Pondicherry.......


Home again, London for now but not for too long.......

I apologize for the haphazard way I have laid out these pictures, but with my zero skills I'm glad I even managed to post them :-)
Ah yes, I forgot my camera in India so the rest of the pictures, of Pune and Mumbai, will be posted when I get back there in a couple of weeks.........































Daily breakfast in Auroville with friends, a fruit salad in a gorgeous setting.....
Being in Auroville and Pondicherry felt like I had come home - I so love this place :-) 










MatriMandir - The temple of the universal Mother......

It is the center of Auroville, not only geographically but also energetically.....

Auroville is a unique one of its kind experiment in Human Unity.....still in the making, far from its ideal goals, and yet, so amazing that it exists and it works.........

















Lunch at a restaurant with a salad bar buffet - it was very very good......watermelon, papayas, grated carrots, cherry tomatoes, iceberg, green and red peppers, broccoli, sunflower seeds and almond flakes.....olive oil and lemon juice for dressing......



























To take pictures of these beautiful peacocks, one has to remain so still, so as to disappear.....it is like a meditation, the mind goes silent simply watching them......





Streets of Pondicherry, with the cows settled in for the afternoon, relaxed and completely at home......


Three wheelers, autorickshaws - zip around the streets of all Indian towns and cities - on Indian roads, it is quite a rollercoaster ride!!

















I made raw dinner for my friends in Auroville - zucchini tagliatelli with coriander and walnut pesto, a raw pizza with a red pepper and tahini sauce, sprinkled with pumpkin seeds - for desert, I made a simple banana and spinach pudding, which went down like a dream :-)



Lunch alone at a sea-side Pondy restaurant - Salad with iceberg, tomatoes, apple slices, cucumber slices, lemon and - parmesan shavings, that I didn't eat - and a carrot and celery juice.....perfect......

It is freezing here and after the hot sunny indian weather, this feels like the arctic zone! I feel a little fragile and a lot more sensitive to this cold......well, its only for a few days and then I'm off again :-)

I'll post again very soon, I have so much to share......
And I definitely want to spend some time catching up on the other blogs......

Have a wonderful Easter Weekend, 
xxx