South of France, 60 day Juice Feast, Joyous New Year.......

           Antibes along the ramparts..............

Just got back home last night after eight days away - We drove down from London to the South of France, to spend Christmas with friends at Grasse.....

They have a beautiful house perched on the top of a hill with a superb view. It was fun, we had a great time together, visiting small Provencial towns in the mountains around, walking through old Antibes and driving through Cannes and along the Riviera......

St Paul en Vence

I had always been to this part of France in the summer when it was too hot and crowded, so this time around it was wonderful, serene, lit up for the festival with a fairy tale atmosphere.....

Magical.....

       Green Juice on the road .......

I managed to have 2 quarts of Green Juice everyday, thanks to carrying the Vitamix, nut milk bag and loads of produce in the car.......and had some salads or soup and sometimes a little lightly cooked food on the side too......

My friends were very supportive of my healing journey and asked a lot of questions - we had plenty of discussions about raw prana filled food, alkaline and acidic terrains, colonics, disease and healing.......

Then halfway through the holidays, I began detoxing my respiratory system for the first time since I began Green juices - lost my voice, pharyngitis, fever, bad coughing, chest pains - detox had to happen on this level too, specially as I had begun doing pranayama a couple of weeks ago, during my Juice feast and had also put out an intention to cleanse my lungs of years of smoking and breathing badly.......

I'm at home now, in bed, writing, drinking herbal teas or warm soups, breathing, coughing, hurting and yet, feeling grateful and good about detoxing my lungs :-)

Tomorrow is another day........and I will begin another Juice Feast - a much longer one this time, I know......as I need to shift and take my healing process to the next level now.......

I hope to do at least 60 days..........I have to go to India end of February, beginning of March, so the length of the Juice Feast will depend on my date of departure.......

I'm so excited, its going to be awesome........

Hope all of you have had a fantabulous Christmas........and here's wishing you a beautiful New Year 2008 - a new beginning, a new world........with Loads of Light, Love and Laughter......

Whole Perspective, Widening the Circle, Centering.........

Sometimes, we get too close to a picture. So close that there is nothing else apart from the picture. We lose our perspective. We end up being in the picture, instead of simply looking at it.....

Look at the chair you are sitting on, tell me what you see. Parts of the arm rests, bits of the seat. If you turn your head and look behind you, maybe you'll see the top of the back of the chair......if you bend and look downwards, you might see a leg or two, thats it.......not much else, right?
An incomplete fragmented vision.....

Now leave your chair. Stand further away. You can see the Whole chair, all at once. You can also examine it, turn it upside down if you wish and begin working on it, repair or repaint it........

Distance gives you the power of Action. Stepping out of that chair gives you the possibility of acting on it.......

Very often, we identify with our emotions and feelings, thoughts, ideas, concepts, the roles we play and our moods.
We've all been through moments when we've felt completely caught up in a situation, unable to see the context clearly, clueless about what to do next!

Thats what happens when we lock ourselves in a place.
We cut ourselves off from all the treasures of the other rooms. Its like going into the bedroom to sleep and then thinking the bedroom is all that exists.......
Forgetting that there is a kitchen where we can get nourishment, a salon to relax and entertain, a study to work and get creative, a bathroom to refresh ourselves......
There's even a Central Courtyard in the house, open to the sky.....

We simply need to unlock the door and step out of the bedroom.....
To widen our circle and maybe begin adding other rooms with other possibilities.........

How do we do this ?

By coming back from whatever we are doing, from wherever we are - back to our Center, the Courtyard......

Each one of us has our own unique individual way of coming back to our Center. What works for one might not work for another here.......

For some of us, its enough to come back to our breath, focus on the inhalation and exhalation and feel Centered. For others, the breath alone is not enough - they need to add something more that helps them get to their Center.
Breath alone, breath and a gesture, breath and an image, an icon, a symbol, or breath and a phrase, an affirmation, or breath and gesture, image, mantra, all of it......or even focus on your heart, or belly instead of your breath........
The variations are endless......

You have to play around and find what works for you, and what works for you is whats best for you.......

Once you've found it, practice practice practice.........
Practice this over and over, again and again - till you can step back, take distance from any activity, situation, even from your feelings and thoughts......

and rest in your Center......

Scribble from my journal - 4

message from a passing cloud to me :

hold lightly

hold all of it so lightly, that 

you are holding nothing at all

anymore.........

this new experience

is only moving through you,

mist between your fingers

making patterns in the air......

all your feelings

all your thoughts

full of shine, 

never mind,

will go away......

don't cling, don't grasp,

there's nothing to take home,

but your self

and even then.........

what Self are we talking about?

breath out your fullness

let out your soul

let it wander and flow 

with the flow.......

nowhere is lost

nowhere is found

there is only one point

one circle

one goal.........

The Story of a Cell in Pictures

Part One

The Old World of Heart

16 October 2007

Part Two

The New World of Heart

18 December 2007

My Name is Heart, I am a Cell and this is my story.......

And for changing my world, I'd like to thank  ;

Dr Robert Young, for bringing me understanding about the terrain, helping me to create harmony and balance in my environment, and teaching me to care.....

David and Katrina Rainoshek, for pouring knowledge of Juicing and Fun Feasting all over me, drenching me in a flow of utterly delicious new world tastes and to top it all, giving me support and love on the way......

Courtney Pool, for sharing generously and sincerely her own journey to inspire and motivate mine.....

And most of all to the one -  who showed the Queen pictures of how me and the other cells were suffering and thus triggered the change.......

She is gentle, compassionate and also kicks ass when needed. 

She is a goddess.

Kate A'vard from www.alkalinebydesign.co.uk

My name is Heart. I am a Cell and I'm going to tell you stories of the new world that is almost here, not quite, not all, but very close.........

Juice Feasting - 10 / Notes on All Levels

Time has flown by these last couple of days. I'm already at the end of my 10 day Juice Feast.

I'm going to put down some of the effects and benefits that have flowed into my life, thanks to Green Juices. But its not about just these ten days. I began getting most of my nutrient needs from Juicing almost six weeks ago. 

Green juices play the major role here, but share the stage with - dry skin brushing, hot/cold showers, supplements, movement, colonics, meditation, love and support from all, divine grace.......

PHYSICAL LEVEL

* My skin has been transformed. It glows, shines, radiates. It has become soft and smooth, my partner says - baby skin. 

* Old scars and brown marks have faded to almost nothing. Stretch marks are disappearing.

* Body hair growth has reduced and slowed down.

* Hair is soft, shiny, healthier. I believe I have less grey hair but we shall wait and see.

* Nails are stronger and deep pink - iron levels have increased.

* I've lost 20 pounds in 6 weeks.

* Cellulite has reduced, almost gone.

* Muscle tone has improved.

* I feel beautiful.

* Sugar cravings have totally disappeared. 

* Less quantity, more nutrient dense food has become essential.

* There is an intense need for simplicity in foods.

* Juicing has become a way of life - 60% of nutrient needs will come from juices daily.

* I feel deeply connected to my body on the cellular level.

VITAL/ENERGY LEVEL

* I've rarely felt tired during these 6 weeks, even when I had detox pains and fever etc, I still had energy.

* The other day, I found myself running to catch the bus, something that has happened probably in a past lifetime!

* I've been anaemic for the last fifteen years, so never had any energy to spare - just functioning and doing what I had to do took all my energy.....

Now, I've been rebounding, dancing and going for hour long walks in the cold with enormous pleasure :-)

* I feel I'm getting younger and dynamic.

EMOTIONAL LEVEL

* I've had very vivid dreams of forgiveness, letting go, etc and one dream of spontaneous tibetan compassion practice.

* Capacity to feel emotions and feelings without any veil or barriers has increased. Experiencing e-motion (energy in motion) in a direct way , in its raw beautiful state without any self-consciousness, this is new.....

* The most simple things, just ordinary life penetrates me deeply - tears surface more easily, tears of joy, love, gratitude.......feelings of awe, marvel, fullness, brimming, overflowing.....have become a daily affair lately.......my heart is wide open.

* I feel connected in a very concrete tangible way to people, to matter and to the environment. I care.

* Expressing what I feel to others has become very easy. No hesitation. 

MENTAL LEVEL

* More mental clarity. Sometimes so sharp, quick and clear, mental images become like geometry and architecture.

* Associative and Intuitive connections are made more easily. I can see. I have vision.

* Concentration and focus has increased. Mental tasks have become flow.

* Creativity has increased a thousand-fold if not more......

* Complete clarity in what I have to do next, my work, my mission, my purpose.

SPIRITUAL LEVEL

* Scribbles from my journal express.

* Its only the finger pointing.

* Thou art that.

* I am. 

Green Juices = Quantum Transformation

Nana, Nani, Buddha and Meditation......

When I was a young girl, being stubborn and obstinate, Nani, my grandmother, told me - When a tree encounters wind, it bends, it knows that the wind is not going to make its home over it but is only passing, so the wise tree lets the wind have his way. But sometimes there is a foolish tree, who thinks it is big and strong and when the wind blows over it, this tree, so full of itself, puts all its effort and energy to block the wind, and in the end, the silly thing, it is blown away......
And then she gave me a big hug to melt away all my resistance. She always knew what to do. Smart cookie, this Nani of mine.

One day I came home from school in tears, hurt by a mean thing a friend had said to me during the day and my grandfather, Nana, called me to his side and told me - One day, Buddha was sitting under a tree and doing his meditation. A group of boys had just finished partying and were on their way home. They came across this half naked man sitting silently with his eyes closed under a tree. So, they asked him "Hey there, what in the blazes are you doing?". Buddha didn't reply. That made them angry because they wanted an answer. One of them began to insult, raising his voice higher and higher. Suddenly, Buddha opened his eyes and smiled. The boy shouted "Whats wrong with you, I gave you so many insults and abuses and you're smiling?" And Buddha told him very gently "My son, you gave but I didn't take".......

My grandfather knew that the first thing I would say would be - What is meditation? Teach me how to do it, please.......and so he did. Thats how he always got me hooked - Very clever, my Nana.

My Nana and Nani are probably going to pop up time to time on this blog, with their simple stories and wise lessons. They are my first Teachers. I lived with them for more than 10 years as I was growing up into an adolescent.
He is 96 now and she is 92, they live with their children and grandchildren in India.
I spent some time with them in March. I would love to see them, be with them right now, but its not possible......so I write about them here, sharing with all of you the precious pearls they bestowed on me. This way, I feel I'm making them a part of this journey to my integral health. And I feel them so close to me..........

Juice Feasting -8 / A Cell speaks, Blood reveals......

On my second day of Juice Feasting I decided to go into a mental and spiritual retreat. I wanted to hold and contain this new energy that was flowing into me, thanks to the Green Juices......
Well, that was a difficult task I set myself - this energy was so strong and intense, so high and buzzing, it took me four more days to turn it inward instead of dispersing it all over.

My computer broke down, so for a couple of days I was off internet, that helped.
I also began to do pranayama breathing in the mornings and that did the trick too......it concentrated the energy within and allowed me to study it more closely, to see the effects and play around a bit :-)

I did 50% Juices for two weeks, then 80% for another two weeks and now I'm on Day 8 of Juice Feasting.
In another couple of days, I'll begin adding solids again - salads, light raw meals etc. Nothing heavy or too fatty.

My Green Juice Recipe:
Cucumber + Celery + Ginger + Lemon + Salt + Hemp oil + Green Powder, as the base
+ a Tomato or a Red Bell pepper or a Carrot
+ Basil or Coriander or Parsley
+ One or more of Greens/ Spinach, Kale, Romaine, Watercress.

I've been drinking -
32 oz x 3 Green Juice
32 oz x 2 Alkaline water with green powder

I believe Juice Feasting is a process and for me it began the day I started getting most of my nourishment from juices, thats almost a month now........
I say this without the slightest doubt and with sincere conviction - Juicing has become the most essential source of nutrients for me and I will continue with at least 60% Juices for the rest of my life.
It is not just a desire, nor just a hope or a goal - it is my reality now - it is, simply, that is all.......

This past month of Green Juices, along with a few supplements, dry skin brushing, hot/cold showers, walking, rebounding, and Colonics - has changed me and my life in a quantum way.......
I will write about the effects, benefits, insights and perceptions, new connections and new neural pathways built, etc - in my next Juice Feasting post......

In the meanwhile, I'd like to share some news with you.......

I wrote the "The Story of a Cell" from a place within myself that had a deep certitude about the positive changes happening in my blood stream and in the cells of my body - it was an intuitive connection on a cellular level and one that flowed out through the story......just 4 days ago.

Today, I did my second live blood analysis (my first one was on Oct 16) and I saw the proof, the visible on-screen picture revealing how beautifully and quickly (in just 2 months) my blood and cells have changed......
Exactly the way I wrote in my story :-)
I'll post the pictures as soon as I receive them.......

The first time I cried with sadness......
This time I cried with joy.......

I feel so blessed, so grateful........
Merci Merci Merci......

The Story of a Cell

My name is Heart, I am a Cell and this is my Story.


I look around and feel elated. How things have changed.
It was not like this before, oh no, nothing like this............

There was a time when I had almost forgotten who I was and why I was here. Everywhere around me was sadness, everyone around me was a zombie, sick and tired......barely able to function, barely able to go to work and do what needed to be done.
Most of them had given up.
I could understand. After all, I had been close to despair many times too.......

The weather had deteriorated to a point where the sun hardly ever showed its face. There was very little light. They said it had something to do with "Warming" - they said there were too many toxins and poisons in the environment. But nobody did anything about it. For a long time neither did I.....
There were piles of garbage collecting everywhere, at every corner there were heaps of rubbish blocking the way.

There was no flow.......

And nothing to eat, only more of the same junk, mostly white in color.
In the beginning we had pounced on whatever was being provided. It only made us more hungry and then more diseased. Vicious cycle. Most of the cells continued eating and slowly dying...
I couldn't stomach that junk! So I ate only a minimum, just to survive.....

Most of the cells roamed in packs. We started clumping together. Sticking to each other. Moving together made us feel safer, but really, we didn't go very far. Or accomplish anything......
Venturing out alone meant being attacked by all kind of bacteria and other alien forms that had begun to fester with the dirt lying around. Most of us were sick anyway. It was easier to just go to sleep.

Fortunately, there were those of us who began to wake up, those of us not ready to give up......not many I admit, but in the end we did make a difference.

I had always believed that our lives served a higher purpose, that there was a meaning to all this. There was a higher intelligence at work here.
I didn't know what it was. I didn't have a clue, and yet, time to time, I caught glimpses of it.....and suddenly I would be struck with a certitude that life could be intensely beautiful, colorful and fulfilling.
Sometimes I would feel a Presence close to me, at times I even felt it inside me. And when I felt it inside me, I felt it in all the other cells too.

This Presence is what helped me to continue.....even in the darkest moments of life.....
I kept seeing how life could be, how this space we called home could be, how the other cells could be, I could see the potential, sometimes it was so tangible, this new world, I could almost touch it......it was so radiant, so joyful,
so different from where I was, it brought tears to my eyes.......

How could I give up?.......

Sometimes, when you are a step away from the edge, Life gives you a surprise......

One day, I took a walk around the block. I was suffocating and needed to be alone.......I had to be very careful and avoid the dumps everywhere, taking back streets and diverting into back alleys.
After a while, I had no idea where I was as the area felt totally unfamiliar to me. I was so tired, I sat down on a broken bench, desperate and lost......I was thirsty too and water had been scarce for ages. The rivers were drying up and the streams a trickle, it was hard to find enough to quench our thirst.......

And then suddenly, in the middle of the usual stink - there wafted in a wave of fragrance, of flowers and herbs, rain and wet earth, so fresh, so cool.....it made me forget everything else, I just wanted to breath it in for the rest of my life.

I had to find out where it was coming from and I began following the perfume, till I stumbled upon the most glorious sight I had ever set my eyes upon......

There, right in front of me was a tiny tiny garden........just a couple of green plants with red buds, with green grass around them and a puddle of water.......nothing more.....
How had this precious piece of Life survived amidst all the chaos and disaster everywhere.......
I don't know but it had. And who was I to question - when there was this beautiful gift being given to me.
All I knew was that if this Garden existed then others must exist too, if this, right here was possible - then everything else was possible too......

Here was hope, here was the future.......it began in the heart of Heart.

Here began my journey......

Thus, I travelled far and long, to arouse and gather other cells like myself who wanted change.
We assembled and held our meetings around these patches of Green that we found hidden in corners and alleys.
We talked, and shared our dreams and began to prepare for Action.......

We found a brilliant strategy to bring about transformation. We revolted, pushed and pulled, irritated and shook the whole world up, we were inflamed by our passion and we became a PAIN......
And that became our name too..........

It took a long time for Pain to make the powers living in their glass tower, high up in the clouds, to notice us.....but notice us they did, in fact more than notice us, it became impossible to ignore Pain anymore, of that we made sure!

Oh and finally the Queen herself, came down from the upper regions of her world and met us. At first she couldn't understand what this was all about, as for such a long time she had ignored and turned a blind eye to everything that was happening down below......all she knew was that she didn't like Pain at all and wanted us to stop........

And then she was aghast, to see the trash and filth that was everywhere......to see the Cells suffering and starving, sick and dying.......it pierced her deep within and she broke down and cried.......

She made us a promise that she would not cut herself off from us ever again......and would do her very very best to turn things around.
She kept her promise. She listened and really heard us and she paid attention.

It all began to change then.......

Now, the garbage is almost gone, the dirt is being swept away faster than you could imagine, water is flowing once more, it has even begun raining......
Gardens are flourishing everywhere, trees are growing and blossoming, shades of Green are visible all over.

Green and other colors dominate the food now, white is a taste of the past.
We are healing deeply......beginning to get our energy back and doing our work again........

We are not a Pain anymore, we don't need to be.

The old world is fading and the New world is almost here, not all, not quite, but very close......

My Name is Heart, I am a Cell and this is my story.

Scribble from my journal -3

wise man, old crone, crazy lover

The mirror reflects and lets go, our mind clings and holds on, to ideas, emotions, feelings......
witness, says the wise man,
enter the gap between whatever arises,
lose your self and die, to be born again and again with each breath, there is
no beginning, no end, where will you find what you are looking for ?
drop your “why”, surrender your “how”, simply rest in “what is” always already present, here and now.............

Go down to the cave, walk through the darkness and the shadows,
find the light in the core of your depths, be friends with whatever you face.....
dance, says the old crone,
in the flames of fire, burn and melt,
make with compassion the bridge between the one and the many, one step at a time
pouring your self into emptiness, create life from this void.......

You long and yearn, while love stares you in the eyes and through your eyes,
all the time beckoning...........
drown, says the crazy lover,
and let your soul be caressed by one glance, one smile,
there is no other, unveil the illusion and unmask the facade of separation,
in your very ache
lies the response of your beloved, let your tears flow freely, open your heart wide, and touch the face of the divine.............

Juice feasting - 2, Retreat, Scribble from my journal-2

Its my second day of Juice feasting and its 8 in the morning here.....
I haven't slept all night - I don't feel tired at all.....

Its like as if with the green liquids, all the cells of my body that had been in the process of degenerating, have received a jolt of electricity and are beginning to come alive.......Its such an incredible high when the cells begin to wake up from their deep long slumber and so, right now they are buzzing.......
As over the years they've been dumbed down and numbed over - they don't know how to contain this new vibration, this new energy, the impact is too strong, too intense......
And so they spill it all over - the energy gets dispersed in an outward movement.....

I feel a deep urge within me to be quiet now, to get used to the taste of this energy, this gift of grace......to learn to hold it and contain it within.....and so what is needed here is an inward movement, a kind of retreat, a mental, spiritual retreat......
Doing simply what needs to be done and nothing more......
This is how it feels for me and what I need to do.......for the next few days....

I'm going to continue the Juice feast, having more or less the same kind and same quantity of juices, but I'm not going to blog about it for now, I'll come back once I'm done......and write about it then.
In the meanwhile, I might post a couple of scribbles from my journal.

Here's one for now.......and with that I'm off to my juicy retreat :-)

cloudy, stormy, grey and wet.....thunder, hail and lightning.....all contained in an empty pulsating field.....
i am the pulse, the field, the emptiness.....i am also each star, each passing cloud, and all emerging and disappearing form...
rain falls heavily outside and soaks my soul, my cells glide smoothly in wetness sweet.....
i dream and all is real....
i feel myself in the falling drops, in the thunder and the lightning, in the words that flow and those that remain unwritten, silent.....
here and now, just this.....is beautiful,
here and now, just this.....is perfection
here and now, just this.....is all.............

Juice Feasting - 1, The Samosas and a tooth.........

I began Juice Feasting today. It literally means feasting on juice with no solid foods. It helps you to detoxify and cleanse your body while giving it all the nourishment it needs. I've been on almost 80% juices for the last few days and now I'm doing a 100% juice feast for the next 8 days.
Its the first time for me and 8 days just feels right.

I'm keeping to green and vegetable juices for now, without any fruit - I might decide to add them in later, depending on how I feel. Since I started having green juices and green powders, high glycemic or even low glycemic fruits feel too acidic to me. So we'll just wait and see........
Over the last couple of days, my detox symptoms have eased off, less pain, less soreness, even my headache was only hovering around today. I felt a little cold in the evening, but otherwise its been quite a nice calm day.

Today I've had :
32 oz of cucumber, celery, red bell pepper, basil and spinach juice with lemon, ginger and green powder.
24 oz of the same with lemon, hemp oil and green powder
24 oz of cucumber, celery, tomatoes, carrot and parsley juice with lemon, hemp oil and green powder
32 oz of alkaline water
24 oz of alkaline water with green powder

Last night, I had a strong vivid dream - of losing my teeth. In my dream, I was at a party, dancing and having fun, when suddenly my front teeth started crumbling and falling off, literally turning to dust and pouring out of my mouth into my hands.....wow!

When I was in my first year of University in Mumbai, one day I was eating lunch at the college canteen with friends. A few boys and a few girls. I ordered a plate of vegetable samosas, one of my favourite indian snacks. When I was halfway through I bit into something hard and discovered a tooth. I was disgusted and called the waiter over. I told him, in a righteous angry tone, "Oh, so now you've begun serving teeth in your samosas".....he looked at me and then quite seriously and straight faced, replied "Madam it is one of yours" - I didn't understand for a moment and then I felt around with my tongue and one of my front upper tooth had broken off, just a wee bit left...... I died!!!
I could see the others holding their hands over their mouth and then the boys couldn't hold themselves anymore and were on the floor rolling with laughter, clutching their sides. You can imagine.......I think they laughed about it all year.......

This story is told and retold, everytime we have family gatherings or someone new comes into the circle - as well as when we old friends meet, they never get tired of laughing over it......No wonder I still get nightmares about it..............
ah never mind.......(and I don't mind either, actually it cracks me up everytime ;-) and its one of the funniest memories of my life)

On to another day of beautiful green yumptious juicy juice.............

Hunger signals - Losing weight

For the first time in my life, I feel wholly satisfied, deeply content.
For the first time I'm getting all the nourishment I need - to be myself integrally.
I've been through years of craving, yearning, wanting food, of filling myself to the brim and yet I was never full......now I realize that in spite of eating every time I felt hungry, I was actually starving!!

Whenever we feel hungry, it is simply the cells in our bodies signaling a need for rich nutrients so that they can do their job to the best of their ability, to keep us alive and functioning in a healthy way, with a sense of well-being.......
But I was ignorant, most of the times I responded to their call by feeding them with nutrient-empty dead foods.........then I felt empty myself so reached out for more - of the same.....and so the cycle continued.....as that was how it had to be then......

To function optimally, which is the way the body is designed to function - it needs clean, life-giving fuel.
And when it begins to get that - this wise intelligent body immediately responds and right away there is a shift within.

Actually, its more like a paradigm shift.
Yes, the form changes - but it goes beyond the form, it becomes transformation........and it includes all of yourself......

One tweak, big or small and all other levels are impacted.
You bring alignment in one place and a flower blooms in another......

The extent and power of this impact on other levels, depends upon your ability to bend and adapt - it depends on how rigid, crystallized you are or then how supple and flexible......this suppleness, souplesse, is the key to all transformation. It is an attitude, a way of being. The more supple you are......the higher is your capacity to receive and be impacted.....
And this souplesse can definitely be developed, but thats another story for another day.

I've been flooding my insides, bathing my cells in green juices and like the flower, I'm beginning to bloom too.......

From a very young age, I'd always heard my grandmother say, your body is your temple, keep it clean, take care of it.....and I thought I'd understood, because I did keep it clean. On the outside. It didn't even occur to me to wonder what I was doing to keep it shining on the inside. That is like washing and giving a new coat of paint to the outer walls and structure of the temple and totally neglecting the inner sanctuary where the Divine resides. Its like caring for the exterior walls, roof and garden of your house and turning a blind eye to what is inside it. Or rather treating the inside like a trash bin, filling it up with all kinds of junk and ugly things - instead of creating beauty and harmony........

And when the inside begins to rot, the outside begins to crumble too......because both are part of the same structure....
Its ONE - two sides of the same coin......terms of relation not reality........
I knew it intellectually and now I'm beginning to know it in my body too.......and I'm beginning to understand the meaning of the word - embodiment..........

I feel like I'm shining, inside and out - and boy does it feel good !!
I am genuinely listening to and paying attention to my hunger signals now, feeding my body with Nutrient rich foods......I no longer need to overeat, no longer have any sugar cravings, I am free and I am flying - feeling lighter, losing weight, looking great :-)

Thank God for Hunger signals....... Thank God for Green Juice..................And Thanks so much for the pain and problem I ran into a few months ago that shook me awake......

A Scribble from my Journal - 1

Time to time I'm simply going to post a piece, a page, a scribble from my journal......words poured randomly on white blank sheets......
Its just one more way for me to reach out and include in the circle.......


my heart melts, there isn’t even a label or a name i can give to what it is that fills me up or overflows from within, my soul sings and its a song that i can hear and feel and yet, and yet, its a silent song, no voice is needed to express it......
i move, in every cell and pore and the dance is never ending, the movement is fluid, my entire being swirls and yet, and yet, there is stillness and immobility, everything moves even as nothing does......
oh this feeling of being bestowed with grace, this gratitude that touches my soul, this filling up with something that cannot be defined, this caress and this stroke, that i can sense in my depths, what remains to be said ?
i sit here, as usual, the night is silent and dark, where does this light come from ? luminous, lit from within, all of it light and lightness, my breath comes and goes in rythym to the beat of a drummer unknown and yet, known.......i recognize, i’ve come home.......
the sun will rise and then set again, i shall wander here and to places afar, touch the ground with my feet and hug the universe close to me, someone will cross my path and give me a flower.......
some stories will be told, others will remain unsaid, unspoken, little stars shining light years away and just one moment of consciousness, i remain alert and aware to whatever unfolds......
repeating the same words, the same keys that get pushed in again and again, the same notes making a pattern, a melody that is a reflection of who i am and what path i am walking and dancing upon, oh grateful, so grateful for it all.........

Detox, Colonics, What is Integral Dynamic......

My body is extremely acidic and the terrain is well compromised. 44 years of toxins. Sugar addiction, smoking and diet coke for years, as well as plenty of strong painkillers.
Its going to take time to let go and get rid of all this......and there is no rush. I feel so connected to my body now and listen to what its telling me, I simply follow and it flows. Doing what needs to be done, gently and at the same time firmly, no struggle, no strenuous effort.....with trust, acceptance, gratitude, lightness and love......

Lately, I've been getting most of my nourishment from green juices everyday. 24 oz of cucumber and celery as a base, one tomato, sometimes a red bell pepper or a carrot, one of the three herbs, parsley, coriander or basil, and spinach or kale - twice daily. Lots of green powdered alkaline oxygen rich water. Maybe a superfood green smoothie every other day. My body is asking, loud and clear, for nutrient dense liquids right now......
And these green liquids are stirring up the toxins big time......
For the last few days, on and off, I've had severe headaches, intense pains in the joints and muscles, vaginal yeast, sore tongue, the sciatica has flared up again. I haven't been able to do my usual rebounding or surya namaskars either.
And this too shall pass.....
I'm not taking any painkillers or medicines at all - I'm taking supplements like MSM, magnesium, enzymes, zinc, B12, triphala. I'm sure they help because it might have been worse otherwise!!
Today is a better day, orienting towards off more than on for all this. I've only got a mild headache and fever......and here I am in the middle of the night writing this post and feeling really good......
In fact, even with the detox pains etc, I've never felt as good as I do now......isn't that amazing?

I can't stop smiling, its all so good :-)

Around the same time that I began to eat raw foods, I met Julia Barnes, who is a naturopath and colon hydrotherapist working at the Galen clinic here in Richmond, where I live. She is an absolute angel and has been my guide and helper on this journey. She has a very wise and intelligent approach towards healing and holds the space at every session with respect, understanding and generosity.....a blessing!
Colonics - ah, what to say!
They have been a huge huge huge help and continue to be so.....I began with one session per week but this week I'm having two, had one on Tuesday and will do another on Saturday, because I need to eliminate the acids that are roaming in my blood stream and causing these detox symptoms.
I went through the first phase of cleansing very well, I think its because of the colonics that my detox symptoms were not as strong the first time round.....because I let go of lots of yeast, bits of mucus plaque and even yellow something from the liver.....but there's more, definitely more.....
And now with the green juices, I've entered a second deeper phase of cleansing.....and I can sense that this is a very important time for my healing.....

The life of a cell is based on what it gets as nourishment and then how easily it can get rid of waste matter. Receiving and then eliminating which basically means letting go of what is not needed.......but its not only about nourishment and letting go on the physical level, its not only about food or drink.
For example :
On the emotional level, its about what kind of feelings we focus on, what kind of emotions and moods we cultivate and nourish ourselves with.....and then how easy is it for us to let go of feelings and states which are destrutive more than constructive?
On the mental level, its about what kind of inner dialogue we run in our heads, what do we say to ourselves all day long, what kind of thoughts are floating around and do they nourish us?..... And how attached are we to our concepts, ideas and beliefs instead of letting go of those that don't empower us anymore?
And so on......

To live means to be Dynamic - static is death. And dynamic means constant change, movement, progress......it means energy - energy in action....
To be Integral means to include all levels, all aspects.....it also means essential or fundamental, how apt......it is all about wholeness - wholeness in action.

Two of my favourite words together........Integral dynamic - whole energy in action.......

So, this blog is all about sharing on all levels. I'm going to write about nutrition and living foods regularly, that is a big part of my healing and will continue to be so.......but you can also expect posts on healing and development, learning and change on other levels. From emotional intelligence to witnessing, from a state of being in the flow to being your best.....anything is possible.......and I'm so looking forward to sharing it all with you.....

Almost 3 am now, time to sleep, the fever is playing up and my body is telling me to stop, do some jinshin jyutsu and sleep.......

Raw Foods, Juicing and Greens.......

I moved to London in May this year with my partner, Trevor and my 16 year old daughter, Saatchi (she is studying at a boarding school in Lille, France) - after spending almost two years living in Auroville, an international town next to Pondicherry in the south of India. That was an incredible, enriching experience but more on that later..........

Moving to London after 14 years in Paris and two years in Auroville was a huge change and triggered a positive response. Sometime in June, I gave up all diary, wheat, processed foods and refined sugar. I've never eaten red meat, but I continued eating fish occasionally. I started drinking a lot more alkaline water and eating more green vegetables and salads. I dislike all hot liquids, never been a coffee or tea drinker, so didn't have to struggle with that.
In September I spent two days a week in Paris, doing some Leadership coaching and training for a company, also individual coaching for some of my old clients. Three weeks of this and I fell very ill. Like I said in my previous post, all my aches, pains and health issues ganged up together and my world as I knew it fell apart. It was time to let the old world fade away and to make space for something new.......and the new flowed in as a perfect gift from the Universe.....I came across the whole Raw food movement and learned about Living foods......

It felt so right to me, made total sense.....it was like a breath of fresh air, a wide wide grin and a blooming excitement, all rolled into One.....my body shouted a resounding "YES".......

ah the Internet....what a boon!
I first came across Dhrumil's site We Like it Raw and that led me to other raw food websites. This young wise man is utterly inspiring and has the capacity to pull you along into his world and share precious pearls along the way.....he simply rocks.
And David Rainoshek has put together an absolutely wonderful site on Juice Feasting. It offers plenty of information and resources. I learned about juicing as well as a load of other very valuable things and I'm so grateful because that has changed my life......and membership gives further access to a treasure trove of articles, videos etc.
There are so many other raw food and health blogs/sites that have been helpful to me and I've included some of them in my list of favourite sites.

I started transitioning into Living Foods a couple of months ago and it has been an incredible time. I bought a Vitamix and two weeks after that, a dehydrator. I began by making Green Smoothies for breakfast, delicious and filling. During the day, I usually ate a salad along with dehydrated crackers, sometimes a raw burger or nori rolls filled with avocado, sprouts and other veggies. Fats like flax seed oil and hemp oil became a part of my life. For dinner, I ate a very light cooked vegan meal, usually some quinoa, brown rice or buckwheat groats with steamed broccoli or vegetable curry. I had some detox symptoms but after a few days they calmed down. I began dry skin brushing and doing hot/cold shower treatments and my skin glowed and circulation improved. I was eating raw deserts a couple of times a week made with a combination of nuts, fruits, agave, sometimes raw chocolate and still had intense cravings for sweet foods.....

A month ago, I started juicing and that changed everything for me.....after only ten days of drinking green juices in the morning, my body started craving greens, more and more greens. Nutrient dense, fresh, clean foods. In the beginning I used to dislike the green powders I added to my juices as well as to my water, then I began to love them.....I found myself one morning making a paste with two scoops of green powder and using my fingers to lick it all up......wierd or what!!!! My body started rejecting sweets, those yearnings began to fade away.....no more fruits, no more raw deserts, no more chocolate.
I made smoothies without fruits, using avocado as a base or then nut milk - adding superfoods like maca, green powders - tahini and coconut, and using a pinch of green stevia as a mild sweetener......

One of the things that has helped me enormously has been colonics. More on that in my next post.......I'm going to write about detox too, because things are really beginning to stir up.....
And I'm going to write about what "Integral Dynamic" means to me as well as about the purpose of this blog..........also I'm new to blogging and excited about learning to do it in a way that suits me - I'll post pictures, video links etc little by little........

Pain, Gratitude, Change.........

I used to say that body pain was a constant companion to me, that as far back as I could remember - there had always been pain, it had always hurt somewhere, there had always been an ache.....When I was asked - "Where does it hurt?" I responded - "Where does it not?"

When you begin to identify with something - an idea, a feeling, a belief, a behaviour, a situation - it becomes such a part of you that you don't see it anymore, you are it!! The neurons get automatically fired in the same directions. You end up taking the same old road day in and day out, till even a bumpy broken one becomes your zone of comfort, the known, the familiar. I did a lot of work on myself on other levels, emotionally, spiritually and yet was blind to what my body was telling me with all the problems it manifested. My pain threshold was very high. Being anaemic meant limited energy, but I managed to spend and conserve like an expert accountant. I carried a wide palate of pain-killers, muscle relaxants, anti-inflammatory drugs etc.......and I smoked, drank sodas and ate as I pleased.
I was still functioning quite well, and I enjoyed my work as a coach and trainer in Paris. I travelled a lot, even did some work back home in India, met interesting people, read loads and loved life.........

A few years ago, my body began to send me messages that this situation needed to change. It started reacting badly to any and all medicines I took. If there was a 0.01% chance of a rare side effect from a pill, I got it. I took antibiotics for an urinary infection and had an asthma attack. I took a tablet for my migraine and I landed up in the hospital the next morning with heart spasms. I took my usual Ibuprofen and could not take it anymore, an ulcer flared up. I must say I had been popping Ibuprofen like candy for years.
My body was saying - no more, fini, basta, stop !
I quit smoking, quit drinking sodas. Then spiralled into some seriously fatty sugary foods to compensate. I still had to have some form of poison. I wasn't ready to totally listen, yet. Not to my body.

I was busy having mystical experiences, meditating and feeling very connected to everyone, to life, to the Universe and to the Divine. It was a phase of grace.
Moments of being in the here and now, of tasting the one taste, of falling still and disappearing - led me to a deeper awareness of my body and how disconnected I really was with it!
Unconsciously I believed that my body was low below on the scale and a prison, I much preferred the world of ideas, the world of the Spirit, where I could soar and be free. And then I had an experience, it was more like a state that lasted for days.......Its like climbing a ladder and when you reach the top you discover that what you were searching for had always been there, the ladder is made of wood and the woodenness is as present on the bottom rung as the top one. We spend years surfing the ocean and looking for the next big wave, only to realize that wetness is always already present even in the smallest one......

I felt deeply grateful to my body for being so resilient and beautiful. And gratitude opened the door to real change.......
As it usually happens, the universe waits for the right moment to give you the perfect gift - I fell very ill and all those aches and pains, the ongoing infections and problems one after the other, which had always reflected the lack of balance in the terrain - coagulated to a place, a point that finally rocked me into Action.
Then I did a live blood analysis that clearly revealed the sorry state of my blood, my cells - I was slowly and steadily moving towards disaster, no longer.......

I chose to change the direction, to leave behind the known the familiar and trod the untrodden.....to move forward in an engaging dynamic way, with all of me......towards the best health ever, on all levels, complete, integral.....towards blood that flows easy and strong, cells that dance and sing their song......I'll get there when I get there, somewhere its already done......and I hold it all lightly, not tightly. Where I am right now, is wonderful, this journey is precious, every moment.....and
I'd like to share it with all of you out there who are in here too, lets hold hands time to time, fire each others neurons in new ways, shine and smile together.......