Friday, 24 October 2008

Scribbles from my journal - 16



detox.......


thoughts rise to the surface
clouding the mind
with inessentials,
a little bit of this and a little bit of that
takes up all my attention....
feelings occupy too much space
leaving none for intuition,
emotions emerge from the past
pulling me in many directions.....
a sense of solitude and aloneness
envelops me in a tight embrace,
i begin to believe for a few moments
i am disconnected
from divine love and grace.....
an ache a longing a burning
a yearning
fills my every cell and pore,
flows through the body as pain
and almost touches my core......
i sit still for hours
letting it go
letting it happen,
witnessing this detox all over once more.......

two days later, feeling cleaner and cleansed
i wonder what that drama was all about,
why every time it happens
why every time i get caught......
sipping my green juice
soothing and lovely,
i feel grace touch me again
and i know it never left me.......
perhaps the next or next or next time around
i'll have less to let go
and less to clean,
my body and mind
will be integrally transformed
totally healed and free of dis-ease........



Monday, 13 October 2008

A big moment of Gratitude :-)



i am grateful........

for green juices, sunshine in london, for moments of rest, for mom who is the best, peppermint tea, all the smiles received, to helena who is always there with a soul that cares, for the breath i take, for the love i make, to uj who radiates light and almost everyday brightens my life, to sri aurobindo and ramanna maharishi, no words would ever express adequately.....

for my brother who rocks, for eckart tolle talks, the books i read, for those i keep, to lynn bell, teacher and guide who helps me constantly find my light, to julia my friend, precious angel who heals - gives me all the essential keys, for passing clouds who whisper to me, for all the marvels i see, for the words that flow, and the heart that knows......

for cherries, blueberries and custard apples, to kate my goddess - for constant care and support, indukins my friend forever, even though i see him almost never!! for the green revolution, for all the solutions - to problems that exist only in my mind, to carrie, shell, suki, poppy, for jenny, ben, kristen, lindsay, for all blogging partners who make my day, for music and melodies, for the colors of fall, and to blissfilled rafique, who never fails to call, every single year on my birthday........

for rain who is dear, never mind she is far or near, for sangeeta who has come back into my life, made me smile and grin wide :-)
for my ex electronic car - le petit strawberry, to serge and luisa for divine grace and beauty, for red earth, peacocks and banyan trees, for all the joyful moments spend in your company vani .......

for baoji and maman, my nana and nani, for all the family in mumbai, paris or dubai, for almonds and pistachios, elixirs and smoothies, my health that is improving day by day miraculously, for internet and mails, for spinach and kale, and all the vegetable curries that i make in a hurry, for v my first love who i will always love unconditionally......

for walks by the river, all the sessions cleaning my liver :-) for drives through richmond park, stealing kisses in the dark, to bombay, lucknow, delhi, paris, to auroville, bangalore and london for the wealth, richness and abundance, for the love that pours all the time, for trust, acceptance, grace, and the grit to walk the line.......

to hayet, julie, angele and caroline, to sheila, marion, valentina and janie, for all the teachings, i hold you incredible women in my arms, you are shakti - loving and strong........

i am grateful......
to saatchi, joy of my life
and to trevor, for a life divine............



Friday, 10 October 2008

Sunshine, Hair Care and Sune......



London - bright sunshine and blue skies.....glorious, gorgeous, great!!!

I went strolling on the high street, sat in a cafe and had carrot-celery-fresh mint juice, browsed in a bookstore and bought a couple of second-hand books, as well as coconut butter, brazil nuts and alfalfa sprouts from my favorite health food store......

Walking back home, I stopped at a hairdressers boutique for a shampoo and blow dry.
A young Danish hairdresser called Sune was the man of the day for me.....
He was radiant and open, open and flowing....filled with light that he generously shared through his words, smiles and gestures.....
Completely authentic......
I walked out of there feeling like a billion bucks - not only because he was highly competent at making me look good, but because he naturally knew how to make me feel good inside too, he knew how to add value to the moment, to our encounter - genuinely, just by wholly and truly Being who he was....
We talked and connected - it was easy - a simple being to being sharing, enriching......

Thank you Sune, Being of Light, you are a gift :-)

I believe "making others feel good" is a practice that can become perfect with more practice till it becomes our nature to truly listen, give a smile, make a kind gesture, say something nice - to a lot of people we come across or run into......
They in turn feel good, they leave you with a smile too and a lighter step and pass along that feeling to others.....
Ripple by ripple the energy expands and grows......

Being open and flowing is the direct opposite of living in fear or with judgements.
Once we let go of our hesitations, our distrust, our labeling.....our fears of being misunderstood or disillusioned, being let down or rejected......once we move beyond our own silly mind games and complicated inner jargon......and simply "be present" - free to relate, connect, link, bond, unite, touch, move, embrace, hug, laugh - our hearts open up and begin flowing.....

The world becomes a brighter place......and the people we encounter Light Beings.....



Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Scribbles from my journal - 15



message from another passing cloud to me:


be not the mental noise, be the stillness from where it emerges, 
you are not your thoughts, just let them come and go......
be not the anger that arises, ask who is it that is angry?
who is sad ? who is it that weeps and feels so low?
be the screen on which colors move and dazzle
simply be the field where all the ideas grow.....
seek not your self in the waves big or small
that dance and clash against the shores
be the deep ocean where it all takes place
be the space from where it all flows...........


Sunday, 5 October 2008

A Blast from the past and Vijay.....



A precious friend walked back into my life after 22 years and has touched me once again with his presence.....
Thank you, for being who you are,
This is for you........


Vijay is a hindi word that means Being Victorious........


 * Vijay flows from Who you are Being at any given moment......
This is the base, the source from which all emerges. What you want, what you do and how you do is all dependent on Who you are......

* It is a decision, an engagement, a commitment - to Being true to your self, in any situation or circumstance and regardless of how the Universe unfolds around you. 
It is about consistently choosing wholeness and integrity, and responding from this position of Being fully and truly Who you are - to whatever you encounter......

* It is a mind-set, an attitude, a state - of Trust, Active Acceptance and Gratitude. 
From trust comes the ability to perceive the world truly, from acceptance comes a letting go of all resistance and rigidity, from gratitude flows grace and grit.......
Being Centered in this state, having this attitude, functioning from this mind-set - means Vijay in your life.......

* It is an understanding, an awareness - of Who you are beyond your stories, your personality, your likes and dislikes, your beliefs and your behavior.
It is consciousness of your true Self - it is the recognition of your Original Face - it is the realization that being Victorious means being One with all......

* Above all - Vijay is all about Love .........
Love is the key to Being Victorious, to being able to move through and beyond - Cancer, Depression, Ignorance, Confusion, or Emptiness, whatever - to a place where all is possible, where all is Light and where all is only another name for your own Self.......


Friday, 3 October 2008

Silence, Slow Flow, Juice Feasting........


After almost four months,
the words are moving.
Slowly, softly, taking tiny steps towards completing a sentence.
I pause and hold still, breathing gently......

I don't know if this is the start of another writing spree.
Am I going to continue posting, write every or every other day?
Or is this just a one off?
Not a clue.......

Out of practice is out of flow.
Even my journal hasn't seen a single word.
At least my blog has had company - of Silence.

Things have happened. As they do.
The mind has thought, the heart has felt.
The soul has wondered, smiled and slept.....

Amidst faint sounds of traffic,
and as darkness falls,
it awakens once again,
I hear its call......

God knows where this scribble is going, She alone knows.

I'll just continue juice feasting,
For another day.
Maybe more...........



Saturday, 14 June 2008

Something new, Somewhere new...........



i miss india, very much.......
all the myriad contrasting scenes, the sandalwood and saffron next to garbage heaps, the sound of temple bells and the shout of a street vendor who sells, oranges, bananas or milk and tea........the smell of spices floating, the perfume of jasmine tempting, the early morning stillness, the evening buzz and crazy traffic jams.......
most of all i miss the sense of belonging, the familiar, the known..........

i'm in london now and i spent the first day moaning, groaning, thinking - what the bleep am i doing here again???
and feeling angry, irritated, frustrated - my work was working out in india but i came back to london with trevor - because his work didn't work out over there......

grateful, so grateful that it lasted less than a day really, got very intense in the evening and pretty much faded out before sleep........

grateful that trevor kept his center and didn't react to my anger, didn't take it personally, simply listened and let me rant and rave for a while.......knowing me well enough to know that it would pass very quickly.......and that i would return home to calm and peace.......

grateful that even though i don't know what i am doing here for now, i will in time, doors will open and my small new steps will reveal new paths .......
i am not interested in analyzing, explaining away or seeking meaning, trying to grasp or cling to some intellectually satisfying answers......
the answers will come if they will, right now i have let go of even all questions.........

the only way out is through......

so to simply fall still, be in the present and do what needs to be done......

for the last couple of days i have been out and about, apartment hunting - and as my perspective shifts from "this is not where i want to be" to "this is the perfect place to be simply because this is where i am right now" - london begins to open up and charm me once more, people smile more often, the sun shines and plays hide and seek, and i feel something nameless, strong and sweet, holding trevor's hand and walking down the streets............