Why, What and What for? ....... Ssshhhhhh

London - Mumbai - Pune - Mumbai - Chennai - Pondicherry - Chennai - Mumbai - Pune - Mumbai - London - Paris - Mumbai - Pune - Mumbai - Pune - Bangalore - Pune - Bangalore - Pune - Mumbai - 

I am in Paris right now and in a few days I will be in London once again.........

After almost three months of constant movement, I am almost back to where I started.......

There are two things I am learning during this experience, this journey to my country and back; - to let go of all attachment to what I want and don't want, my desires, my dreams, my plans....

- to let go of the need to make sense of whatever unfolds, of trying to find meaning in whatever is happening.......

I know it will change again, but for now, this is where I am, where I need to be, learning to let go completely.....

Life is taking Trust, Acceptance and Gratitude to a new level for me now - and sure, it is not easy.......

I cried all day yesterday........felt like I was going through another dark night of the soul - feeling miserable, lost, tired, nothing to hold on to, unable to see ahead - no energy, no excitement, just an emptiness and despair.........

I felt broken.........

I guess sometimes we need to really break, to feel completely lost before something new and beautiful is found again.......

Total Surrender......Total Trust, Acceptance and True Gratitude..........Fully Living in the Here and Now..........

I have not been feeling quite well either these last few weeks, some of my old symptoms are back again - just one more phase of integral healing, all levels, all aspects........

I feel fragile, vulnerable, open, so open, I feel almost raw........and yet, something filled with strength and a force that is soft and sweet and light and lit, seems to be flowing through my being, awakening and brightening, slowly.......

Trevor is in London, setting up our new life there.......

So, it will be a new job for him, a new apartment in a new part of London for us, and who knows, maybe a new work and a new path for me too????

The new life is not waiting out there, the incredible breath-giving new world is not somewhere not reached yet........

It is right here, right now, where I am..........

And I'm dancing again.......

No terms and conditions on joy and happiness, everything is perfectly as it is and it is perfectly as it should be.........

So, London, here I come once again :-)