Have you ever felt that you are moving around in circles,
never ending always turning circles?
My life for the last three years has often felt like that.....
And yet, I have continued moving and turning because
I have always believed in two things:
1) I am a circle with no periphery and the center everywhere.
2) It is not a circle turning...it is a spiral revolving....
and I am never at the same point horizontally,
but on a point that even though feels the same, is not.....
It is on another level of the spiral!
The last three weeks have been a total nightmare......
I am undergoing tests, but my Doctor believes I have a chronic
neurological and immune dysfunction disease,
for which there is no cure, no proven treatment......
I won't write the fancy label here.....
I refuse to believe in it anyway!
Sustaining joy, acceptance and gratitude in the face of
such physical suffering - takes a lot of grace and grit.......
grace and grit......
to not give up,
to continue believing,
to continue having faith,
to feel calm inside,
to go beyond the fears,
to step out of crazy,
to move out of scary,
to hold on to hope,
to begin once more,
to ride the waves,
of fatigue and pains,
to feel the divine,
and continue to shine......
I have begun many chapters on this blog,
again and again fasting and feasting,
healing and transforming.....
and yet, the journey continues,
and yet, the healing will take place......again......
I began an ebook, it is half finished.....
I began a course in nutrition, it is half done too....
I don't know when I will be able to finish it all.....
I don't know when I will be able to live a normal
life either.....
I do know that I will.....it is enough for now.....
for now, it is enough to accept, to flow......
It seems like physical suffering, transforming
through the body - is my karma for this lifetime.....
What is the point of lamenting, feeling sorry for myself,
or moaning, grumbling and giving up?
I have these sufferings,
I am not these sufferings.....
I might have this disease, but this disease is definitely
not going to have me :-)
Posts
8 comments:
Neeta:
I am in such shock,You concentrate on getting well.You are such a beautiful soul..be strong and yes,you will get better..
I am so happy that you are such a strong person and think so bravely.Always there for you...if u need to talk..
Take care and lets think of LIFE and how beautiful you make it...
lots of love,prayers and hugs,
sharanya
your strength and positive attitude is inspiring, neeta. i'm sending lots of healing blessings your way!
xoxoxo
thank you very much,
big love xoxox
Neeta, I've already written privately to you but I just have to state it again. I am in total awe of you. Despite everything you are still smiling, still giving, still writing, still absolutely amazing... Fxxxx
Oh, and forgot to mention - check out those Peach and Cherry Napoleons from Golubka - they put a smile on my face - I have a feeling they might put a smile on your face too! Stupendous! Fx
fleur, thanks, put a smile on my face too - now if someone would make those napoleons for me too :-0
love, always....xox
Dearest Neeta...what Fleur (and everyone else) said really, i am in awe of you too! You are a great inspiration, thankyou so much for sharing your journey with us. I recently wrote a blog with a very similar theme,...it seems that whatever we are tuning into is not ours alone, and we are all sharing and tuning into these thought-waves of energy....sending you much love and gentle strength xoxoxo
sweet shell, i was feeling low, down, blue this evening.....in bed, so much to do, and unable to move....then the feeling passed, there was gratitude that i could at least use the comp, reach out, connect and spread my love.....and tomorrow is another day....thanks for your message, it helped :-) with you, dancing the spiral xoxox
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