Aware, Awaken, Alkalize

I've been reflecting, meditating and focusing
on my health journey, which began 3 years ago.
After months on high raw vegan, 40 days of Juice Feasting
and following an alkaline lifestyle on all levels,
I felt clean, pure, dynamic, healed, connected and transformed.
My live blood analysis showed a radical change - the cells
were glowing and clean and perfectly healthy......
From having less than one year before catastrophe struck,
I moved to a point where I couldn't even smell the slightest
whiff of anything catastrophic :-)

Now, 3 years down the road, my old health challenges are back
along with some new ones too - maybe I am crazy but right now
writing this - I am almost laughing, with a big silly grin on my face.
Sure, it is not funny, it has been painful, irritating, confusing and
has also made me feel low and blue these last few days.....
and yet....somehow, it is funny.......must be - because I can;t stop
grinning and at 5 in the morning right now, I am feeling light
and joyous and filled with laughter - I must be mad!!! :-)

My Doctor in Paris told me a few days ago, looking at all
my test results, that she couldn't understand how I was
walking around and functioning and talking and laughing
and I didn't even look sick really - when with the results
she saw I should be in the hospital or at least bed ridden!!
Yeah sure, in your dreams Doctor!! :-)
And a couple of days ago, some more test results
came out, showing some more stuff - yes stuff happens.....

Well, anyway, enough giggling......right? ;-)
So, I believe I have understood what I have done wrong
in the last couple of years, where I went off track.....
not consciously of course, otherwise I wouldn't
have done it......but sometimes when you are in the picture,
you don't see it clearly, and it takes time to step out,
time or then maybe something to shake you
out of complacency and your inertia......

One thing that I have to let go of completely
is the word and attitude of MODERATION - this word
is a killer for someone like me with serious
health challenges!!!
I had deep conditioning that I have to totally unlearn -
the voice that says, it is alright to eat this time to time,
it is okay to have it once in a while,
and slowly but certainly other thoughts creep in
without you being even aware of it!!! - like - others eat
everything and they are fine, so a little bit
of this won't really harm you - come on, stop being
so rigid,  such a fanatic, you can't give up on everything!!!

ah, the monkey mind LOL
It is truly capable of fooling oneself thoroughly.......

And then, a little bit of this and a little bit of that,
and the body begins to turn Acidic once more - the Alkalinity
flies out the window.....
And acid calls for acid, so everyday becomes one little thing
once in a while......I was still being Moderate, of course!!!
I also did regular Juice feasts and Liquid Feasts and even
Colonics......so I felt I was doing good - yes I was but to heal
deeply from strong labeled health challenges, one has to stick
to the path and stay really really alkaline for yearsssssss......
and alkaline for years might mean alkaline forever, hopefully!

Awareness........Awakening......ALKALIZING
and gratitude flows.........
change is here again.......
transformation calls once more.......

and I feel strong and beautiful and connected, like before....
ready to dance and sing from the core....

Ok, maybe time to stop rambling and go to sleep,
it is almost 6 and I can hear birds chirping outside,
and I am loving life, madly, passionately, intensely :-)))))