Pain, Gratitude, Change.........

I used to say that body pain was a constant companion to me, that as far back as I could remember - there had always been pain, it had always hurt somewhere, there had always been an ache.....When I was asked - "Where does it hurt?" I responded - "Where does it not?"

When you begin to identify with something - an idea, a feeling, a belief, a behaviour, a situation - it becomes such a part of you that you don't see it anymore, you are it!! The neurons get automatically fired in the same directions. You end up taking the same old road day in and day out, till even a bumpy broken one becomes your zone of comfort, the known, the familiar. I did a lot of work on myself on other levels, emotionally, spiritually and yet was blind to what my body was telling me with all the problems it manifested. My pain threshold was very high. Being anaemic meant limited energy, but I managed to spend and conserve like an expert accountant. I carried a wide palate of pain-killers, muscle relaxants, anti-inflammatory drugs etc.......and I smoked, drank sodas and ate as I pleased.
I was still functioning quite well, and I enjoyed my work as a coach and trainer in Paris. I travelled a lot, even did some work back home in India, met interesting people, read loads and loved life.........

A few years ago, my body began to send me messages that this situation needed to change. It started reacting badly to any and all medicines I took. If there was a 0.01% chance of a rare side effect from a pill, I got it. I took antibiotics for an urinary infection and had an asthma attack. I took a tablet for my migraine and I landed up in the hospital the next morning with heart spasms. I took my usual Ibuprofen and could not take it anymore, an ulcer flared up. I must say I had been popping Ibuprofen like candy for years.
My body was saying - no more, fini, basta, stop !
I quit smoking, quit drinking sodas. Then spiralled into some seriously fatty sugary foods to compensate. I still had to have some form of poison. I wasn't ready to totally listen, yet. Not to my body.

I was busy having mystical experiences, meditating and feeling very connected to everyone, to life, to the Universe and to the Divine. It was a phase of grace.
Moments of being in the here and now, of tasting the one taste, of falling still and disappearing - led me to a deeper awareness of my body and how disconnected I really was with it!
Unconsciously I believed that my body was low below on the scale and a prison, I much preferred the world of ideas, the world of the Spirit, where I could soar and be free. And then I had an experience, it was more like a state that lasted for days.......Its like climbing a ladder and when you reach the top you discover that what you were searching for had always been there, the ladder is made of wood and the woodenness is as present on the bottom rung as the top one. We spend years surfing the ocean and looking for the next big wave, only to realize that wetness is always already present even in the smallest one......

I felt deeply grateful to my body for being so resilient and beautiful. And gratitude opened the door to real change.......
As it usually happens, the universe waits for the right moment to give you the perfect gift - I fell very ill and all those aches and pains, the ongoing infections and problems one after the other, which had always reflected the lack of balance in the terrain - coagulated to a place, a point that finally rocked me into Action.
Then I did a live blood analysis that clearly revealed the sorry state of my blood, my cells - I was slowly and steadily moving towards disaster, no longer.......

I chose to change the direction, to leave behind the known the familiar and trod the untrodden.....to move forward in an engaging dynamic way, with all of me......towards the best health ever, on all levels, complete, integral.....towards blood that flows easy and strong, cells that dance and sing their song......I'll get there when I get there, somewhere its already done......and I hold it all lightly, not tightly. Where I am right now, is wonderful, this journey is precious, every moment.....and
I'd like to share it with all of you out there who are in here too, lets hold hands time to time, fire each others neurons in new ways, shine and smile together.......